In the creative process, repetitive brushstrokes gain ritualistic meaning. This repetition isn't mechanical copying but spiritual activity like prayer or meditation. Especially when I think of things I desire but cannot reach, repetitive movements become a kind of comfort and confirmation. Each repetition reinforces the reality of certain emotions, like how repeated chanting gives words magical power.

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Giorgio Agamben's discussion of "gesture" provides theoretical support for understanding this repetition. He argues that gesture is neither means nor end but "the display of mediality"—it shows possibility itself (Agamben, 2000, p.57). In my repetitive brushstrokes, what's displayed isn't the image goal to be reached but the possibility of the painting act itself, the infinite potential where body and emotion meet.

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This ritualistic repetition also creates a special temporal dimension. In repetition, linear time is suspended, replaced by a cyclical, spiraling experience of time. Each repetition is both return and advance, both confirmation and change. This is like Benjamin's Jetztzeit (now-time)—the crystallization of past and present in a specific moment (Benjamin, 1968).